You Are Not Perfect!

The song says, “I woke up like this. Flawless.” Perfection and flawlessness is a myth. Everyone has imperfections. Everyone. Sometimes, those flaws are the most endearing qualities like Tom Cruise’s chipped tooth or Madonna’s gap smile. They make you uniquely you.

Yet many of you obsess over being perfect–perfect hair, figure, performance record, test scores, etc. You starve yourself to be perfectly thin or become obsessed with plastic surgery to obtain the perfect appearance. When seeking perfection begins to interfere with your relationships, job performance, school performance, or health, you need to seek help from a licensed psychologist. It can be just as disabling as any physical illness if not treated. You would learn how to challenge the irrational or faulty thoughts that cause you to become anxious or obsess over the need to be perfect. You would examine what events in your history may have contributed to your need for perfection and how to deal with those in a healthier way. You would learn to appreciate all the good qualities that you already possess and not be so critical of your areas of weakness.

As I said previously, none of us are perfect. We all strive to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. This is an ongoing process. Even movie stars, famous musicians, and models have flaws. Honest, nonjudgmental appraisal of all that you are as a person is more helpful than making unfair comparisons to others or holding yourself to unrealistic standards. In other words, discover your talents and gifts. Then, look at what profession those talents are best suited for and work toward that. Do not limit yourself to beauty ideals that are often created on the computer or have nothing to do with your ethnicity and physical characteristics. That is setting yourself up for failure. You can emulate the style of someone whose figure is similar to yours, but you cannot strive to be exactly like Charlize Theron or Halle Berry or Jennifer Hudson. Even they have days where their skin, hair, or weight is not what they would like. They may be dissatisfied with this or that body part. They may be striving to improve this skill or that skill. They did not suddenly appear in a perfect state, nor are they in a state of perpetual perfection. None of us are. Embrace who you are. Be the great person you are destined to become.

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